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Thinking about it
6 min read
Five things to do when you are thinking about divorce
Before you decide anything, a few quiet steps will protect you and keep your options open.
Claire Hartwell
Thinking about divorce is not the same as deciding to divorce. Many people spend months in this stage, and that is normal. These steps protect you whichever way you decide.
1. Learn where the money is
Make a simple list of accounts, debts, pensions and property, with rough values. If you can, keep copies of recent statements somewhere private.
2. Keep a calm record
Note important dates and arrangements for the children. Facts, not feelings. It will help later if you need to agree a parenting plan.
3. Do not move out yet
Leaving the family home can affect arrangements for the children and the house. Speak to a lawyer first, unless you are unsafe. If you are in danger, leave and call 911.
4. Look after yourself
A counsellor, a trusted friend or a support group can help you think clearly. Decisions made in a crisis are often the ones people regret.
5. Get one private consultation
A single conversation with a family lawyer will tell you what applies to your situation. It does not commit you to anything.
This guide is general information about family law in Oregon and Washington. It is not legal advice for your situation, and reading it does not make us your lawyers. Laws differ by state and change over time.
Key points
You do not have to decide anything today
Copy key financial documents now
Talk to a lawyer before you move out
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Talk it through, privately.
A free 20-minute call with a family lawyer. You choose how we contact you, and nothing you say commits you to anything.