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Just separated
5 min read
How to talk to your children about separation
What to say, what not to say, and how to keep the conversation about them.
Daniel Okafor
Children remember how they were told far longer than the details of what came next. A little preparation makes a real difference.
Tell them together
If it is safe to do so, both parents should be there. It shows the children that you will still work together as their parents.
Keep it simple
Young children need to know what will change in their day: where they will sleep, who will take them to school. Older children may want more detail. Answer what they ask, honestly.
Keep adult matters private
Avoid blame and avoid sharing reasons for the separation. Children should never feel they have to choose.
Expect more questions
The first conversation is only the beginning. Make it easy for them to come back with questions later.
This guide is general information about family law in Oregon and Washington. It is not legal advice for your situation, and reading it does not make us your lawyers. Laws differ by state and change over time.
Key points
Tell them together if you can
Keep it short, honest and age-appropriate
Reassure them it is not their fault
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